i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
