I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
