and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
