you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
How does one acquire holy water?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
