is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
