And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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