How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I look better un-naked...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
two words: eviction party
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
