i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Randomize