She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
