I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
