I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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