Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize