I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
