I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
