You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
