soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There r osticjed everywhere
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
