I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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