I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
