literally had 100 drinks last night.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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