mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
