do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
