I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
