Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
