i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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