Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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