I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
