He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
