I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
