I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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