I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize