she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
