Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
