Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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