butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think a kid would responsible me up
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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