My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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