How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
