I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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