You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
