dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
