At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
