She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
