Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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