people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
