3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
