I seem to have left my pride at pride
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
