I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
