He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
His hands were made for my vagina.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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