Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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