suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no you cant smoke seaweed
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Can you bring me the toilet please
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
