I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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