At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
When are your genitals available?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
