Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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