There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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