i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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