lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
