but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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