so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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