I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
