Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
