Im at strip club and am horny
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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